playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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