I wish my penis had an off switch
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's get the cat blown out
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize