how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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