I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
