hell yes lets make some ravioli
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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