I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she smelled like a LAN party
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
