Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
