Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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