how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
