if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
