The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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