just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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