so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
