Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
