You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
