i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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