The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
