I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
