The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
