I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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