just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
