his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
is it fun? or sober?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
