I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
her vagine was all disorganized.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
