Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
