How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
