When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize