it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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