I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
