so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize