What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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