i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
