I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize