break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
