Pants 0. Shit 1.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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