Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
