im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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