i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize