Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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