But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize