i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
