Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
