So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
