My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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