you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
