Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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