I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Rumble strips road head = magical
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
