3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
