My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
