I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Randomize
