What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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