Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
