I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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