I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
