Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
