I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
