I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
