I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
