I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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