we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
