Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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