Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
