Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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