So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
