My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize