were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How does one acquire holy water?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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